Tanu in new city

I am Tanu, age 28, average looking female living in India, If I start from the beginning then I have to take you around five years back,

and truly speaking even after five years I remember each and every moment spent at that time, it was the time when I was living in a small city of UP which was famous for it’s education system and spirituality, at that time I was about to finish my M.A and my parents had a plan of my marriage after that, but I was in touch with one guy from my graduation period, he was not of our cast.

After graduation he joined his father and brother in business, which was of construction and I started my masters. If I talk about Ajay then I will say, he was an ordinary guy, with all the habits which guys have like smoking and bit of drinking, with non-vegetarian food, which was not part of my family’s lifestyle, but I never felt anything wrong about it, and our relation continued,

I was not sexually involved with him but yes sometimes we kissed. After graduation we use to meet after my classes and we use to talk about everything, each other’s family problem or any other matter. What I noticed in him from our meetings and his statements about his life style that he gets dominated by his family, family means father and elder brother;

he always got conscious whenever his father’s or brother’s phone rang. At that time I never realized this as a big problem, and I have been ignorant about this. By the time I was about to finish my masters and my marriage became a major issue of our house, I started thinking about Ajay as my life partner and I felt that I can spend life with him and he also had a same feeling for me.

At that time for us our different cast was the major problem, which we thought that we can handle. After some time when I was finished with my studies, we revealed our relation to our family, and the problem raised was much bigger than our imagination. First of all both the parents were disagreed, mine were because of his different cast and moreover his habits, which I mentioned earlier.

And his parents disagreed because of their status, my father was professor in the university and mother was working in a government bank as a clerk, and we had a very limited income, and he belonged to the family of a builder. Somehow I managed to agree my parents to think about it,

and so he did with his parents but again the major question which came in front of my father was of money. Ajay’s parents had a heavy demand which my father could not think of competing it. Somebody would have thought about borrowing money for this but my father had lot of self respect and ego,

so he simply denied to accept this proposal, and it seemed impossible to both of us that we can marry with our parents consent, rather my parents were objecting for our meetings and because of that environment of my house was getting worse day by day, I use to get scolded on every small thing.

But I did not stop meeting him, because I felt that he also likes me and he is stuck in emotional family drama. Slowly time moved and in around one month’s time, we decided that if we had to spend life together then only we have to do something for that. So we decided to run away and settle down in the other city. For me it was the biggest decision which I took it for my life.

For this Ajay visited one of the major city of India (I would not like to specify the name of the city) where he had some contacts, and where he could do something to earn with a help of those contacts, and there he fixed the flat on rent, where we were suppose to live after our marriage.

I didn’t know that why Ajay has planed this in such a way that I had to reach that city before him and he was suppose to come after few days. Before the selected date we easily managed to open a bank account on my name in a known bank, and initially he deposited around 30 thousand Rs. In that account for me. Whatever official papers came on my address,

somehow I managed to hide them from my parents. Plan was somewhat like that I was supposed to pick up by one of his friend from the station, who had to drop me at our place, and later Ajay had to join after few days. At that time I was satisfied with the arrangements he did, except the thing that he will come later, but I trusted him.

On the day of journey I was very scared and restless, but Ajay gave me strength and I left my house leaving everything behind with a note, addressing my parents that I am leaving and will come back after some time. I think that was biggest mistake I made in my whole life. It was an overnight journey and through out the journey I was restless, tears were floating in my eyes,

and I could not sleep that night, I was crying silently on the uppermost berth, of the compartment, don’t know when but somewhere close to the morning I slept for around 2 hours and again got up as people got awaken. I was feeling very insecure about everything, I knew Ajay from last 4-5 years but at that time it seemed very less time to me.

For me it was a matter of my life and dignity and that night in a real sense I asked for something to god. At that particular moment I realized that I have done a mistake, I was thinking about my parents, I wanted to go back, I was unable to visualize that what would be the scene at my home and how my parents will react, when they will come to know that I have left them,

I was the only child of my parents and now they didn’t had even that child. I was thinking that what I would do if something wrong happened. I was very insecure about that person who was suppose to pick me up from the station, even for that I had to trust Ajay, because only he knew that what kind of person he is. Finally my train reached on the destination and my heart beat went double.

I was suppose to sit on my reserved berth, and that guy had to come there, what I knew about him was only his name and his name was Kartik. After few minutes that man came, he seemed well educated and met me formally, he took my luggage and I had to follow him, I was very scared and it was very clear from my face and behavior,

which he could have easily guessed but he did not said anything and took me out from the platform to the parking, and we started walking towards the car, at that time I was even more scared, he was totally stranger to me and I was going with him, in his car, and moreover I didn’t know where I am going, I felt that my feet have gone heavy and I could not walk,

I didn’t know that what will he do with me. As we reached near the car, I saw lady sitting on the front seat, and as she realized that we have came, she came out of the car and said hello to me, she was Kartik’s wife, Deepika. It was a big relief for me, but still my mental state was very bad and I was very depressed.

We sat in car, and Deepika sat beside me on the back seat, then Kartik handed over me his mobile and told me to talk to Ajay, I dialed his number, and he picked up but I was unable to speak anything for few minutes, and I started crying, he talked to me for a while and told me not to worry, I was asking him again and again that when is he coming, for that he said very soon,

he will be with me, then I handed over the phone to Kartik, because Ajay wanted to talk to him, and I started crying again, then Deepika came closer to me and took me in her arms and hugged me. As I listened on the phone when Kartik was giving detail about our program to Ajay, we were heading towards there house, from there we had to move to the place where I had to stay.

Everything was Ok but still I was very uncomfortable, Deepika was trying to talk to me to divert my mind, and I was also responding to her, but my mental state was not that simple. There were many thoughts running in my mind, about my parents, my previous life and lot more. After some time we reached there home, it was a very big flat in a very good apartment,

well planed and beautiful, everything was perfect, after seeing that flat, It can be easily guessed that Kartik is a very rich man. Deepika gave me there guest room to settle down, I got ready very quickly, although I was very tired and wanted to sleep, but I was feeling very strange in some other house, after getting ready I stayed in that room till Deepika came,

and took me to the dining table for breakfast, we three had breakfast which I barely had, and there Kartik told me about our program. In the afternoon we were suppose to go to the place where I have to settle down finally, but before that we had to do some shopping for that. After breakfast Kartik moved out of the house, as he had some work and Deepika and I came back to guest room,

there we talked to each other, and Deepika expressed her view about the step we have taken, she was not agreed with the way I have chosen, but for me it was too late to think about that. From her I came to know few things about them, Kartik was a civil engineer, and Ajay was his business concern, few days back Ajay visited him at home and asked his help for this,

although Kartik did not liked the way we adopted but he agreed to help. I was bit relaxed, because Kartik and Deepika seemed very decent couple, at least now I was not worried about my security and that was mainly because of Deepika, because a female can only feel secure in the presence of another female, as I was feeling secure in her presence.

She was very friendly, and talkative. After talking to her for some time, I slept for some time, and by the time I got up Kartik was back and he handed over me a new sim card for my mobile, which was ready to use, then he gave me all his contact numbers. Now I had to move to my own house.

We got out and did some shopping of kitchen utensils and few basic things like mattress, pillows and 2-3 bedsheets, and some groceries. I tried to pay at few places but Kartik stopped me, by saying, that Ajay has given this money to buy all these things, and it really gave me some confidence about Ajay. After eating junk food in lunch, we reached at our flat,

it was a very small flat with just one bedroom and one common room, which can be used as a drawing room and dining room, it was just a shell with nothing in it, except few things like LPG cylinder, gas stove and basic things like sealing fans and tube lights, and few more things like bucket and all, which was arranged by Kartik few days back.

Hardly in an hour, we settled down with the things we bought, and now according to the program they had to leave, I was bit restless with a thought that I had to stay here alone for few days, although it was a very safe looking area but still I was bit afraid. I think Deepika judged that and told me to come along with them, for at least tonight.

I accepted the proposal, and we locked the flat, came out. After that Kartik dropped us home and took his way to office, and again me and Deepika were left in the house. We talked for a while and I came to know few more things about this couple, they were married from last 5 years, and till now they were just two, I mean no kids, and then I came to guest room to get some rest.

By this time I was bit relaxed about my security, now the only issue left in my brain was of my parents, I thought they must be very worried, I wanted to talk to my father, I just wanted to inform them that I am fine, but it was not easy for me. I remember at the time when they were against this relation, and they use to get angry at me, I somewhat hated them,

but at present I was feeling intense love for them, may be because I was far from them, but I had 1 thing in brain that after marriage I have to go and meet them, and at that time I thought that, it’s not very far, so I just controlled myself. After that we had dinner together and I came back to my room, in night I talked to Ajay, he told me that he will be with me with in a week,

and requested me not to call him, and only he will call me whenever he will be free and no one will be around him. I asked him about my parents, he told me that they came to his place in my search but he has denied everything and said that neither he know that, where I have gone and nor he has any involvement in this.

I think with this thought Ajay remained in the city, because he wanted to keep himself out of doubt from the parents of both the sides. I knew this for sure that police or anybody like that cannot harm Ajay, because his father had good connections in the city. I was worried about my parents; I thought they must be restless and scared. Somehow I slept with these thoughts.

Next morning with some more things like there spare TV, I moved to my house with Kartik, he dropped me at my place and told me that I can call him whenever I need something; his office was not very far from my place, as he said it was hardly 10 minutes drive. I spent whole day alone in the house with a television and thoughts of my future life, I cooked for myself,

but everything seemed very awkward, and by the evening I was tired without any reason. In the evening Deepika called me and asked me if I want to come and stay with them for the night, but somehow I ignored. I had some books while reading I slept little early. Next morning Deepika came to meet me, Kartik dropped her while going to his office,

she stayed with me almost for the whole day till evening, we had lunch and tea together, and we just chatted for the whole day till Kartik came in the evening to pick her. That is how I spent almost a week in there company, couple of times Deepika sent a car with a driver, and we spent a whole day at her house, and once she had to do some shopping,

so she took me along and we spent good time. Slowly I came to know more about this couple Kartik was the only child of his parents and now he was alone left in the family, he had few relatives but they were not in this town. His wealth and glorious life was hereditary, and initially his grand father was very rich, and his father had good cushion of money when he started his business,

and it flourished after Kartik joined him in the business. I was very impressed with a there nature, they were, very nice and helping. Kartik had a impressive personality, and royal gesture and he was well educated too, he did not talked to me much, but what I could guess from someone’s general behavior, I found him very caring person, he was bit reserved in nature and had his own style,

I think that was also inherited, and that style was appropriate for his personality. On the other hand Deepika was very simple and down to earth, like me she also belonged to a small city. She was very talkative and friendly, and in a weeks time we were very good friends. Although I spent good time with Kartik and Deepika and I know I would have gone mad if had to stay alone with no one around,

but I was waiting for the week to end, because according to the program Ajay was suppose to come, and we had a plan of getting married, but he didnt came, and asked for three more days, I became restless, but what I could do, I had to wait, even after three days he did not turned back and came after almost a week. Only I know that how I spent that time in agony and anger.

I was very insecure but Deepika gave me strength. After almost two weeks, when I met Ajay, I exploded in tears and hugged him. He also hugged me and kissed me on my lips and I passionately responded to his kiss. I was waiting for him for such a long time, I was so happy to see him.

I was wearing salwar and kurta, and he tried to take off my clothes, it was unexpected for me, so I stopped him, I wanted to talk to him that, why he came late, I wanted to know more about my parents, but he was continuously touching and rubbing my body with his hands. I was trying to stop him with bit of loud voice saying stop it, but he was unstoppable.

After a minute when I realized that he is not listening to me and again he tried to take off my top with a force, I pushed him, he stopped for a second and looked at me, I could see hell of lust in his eyes, again he tried to hold my body and again I resisted with more force, and before I would have said anything he slapped me,

I was totally stunned and started crying and again he tried to take off my top, and intentionally he tore it off by holding it from the neck. I went out of my senses, I shouted on him I was just in bra and a piece of cloth hanging on my body, which was my top few seconds before. I tried to hide my upper half with my hands and a kurta, but he pulled that also and now I was in bra,

hiding my breast just with my arms. He tried to get hold of my body, but I pushed him with my full strength, he got unbalanced and fell away from me, and his head got stuck with a corner of a wall. I got some time, and I picked up a wood bat, (generally which is kept in the bathroom, and it used to beat clothes while washing). I screamed over him again and again, by saying “go away”.

He walked out of the house, may be with a fear that if someone will come, after listening my voice, then he will be held. Everything happened so fast that I was in complete shock and incapable to think anything. I sat there as it is and started crying. After just few minutes, I don’t know how Kartik appeared, I think he knew that Ajay will be here, door was opened, and I was sitting on the floor,

hiding my upper half and crying, he immediately came closer to me, and tried to hold me from my arms, but I was not in my senses, I was feeling very insecure, I don’t know why I attacked on him too, I slapped him 2-3 times with my full strength, he was wearing specs, he got hurt, and a piece of glass stroked him close to one of his eye.

I was insane at time and did not realize that he had an intension to help. I screamed over him too and again said same words in a loud voice. He simply walked out, I got up and bolted the door from inside, wore another clothe on top of my body. I was mentally imbalanced, I came to my bedroom and started crying again, after some time, I realized that someone was beating my door,

I got up to see, it was Deepika, I opened the door and hugged her, and started crying even lauder, she tried to calmed me down, thoughtfully she knew whatever has happened, but she asked me and I explained her whatever happened with me. She immediately packed my cloths in a bag, and took me to her house in a car, which she drove herself.

We came to her flat and she took me to guest room, I was still in shock and my head was aching. Deepika remained with me every minute to give me company. I slept for sometime may be for few hours, when I got up Deepika was still laying beside me. That day I remained in that room and me and Deepika had food in the room only.

Slowly I was regaining, and I realized that what I have done with Kartik. I was afraid and hesitant to face him or to talk about him with Deepika. I also wanted to ask her about Ajay, whether he is in the city or he has gone back, but I remained silent. I realized that I have spoiled my life with an initial step of running away from home.

Then for an instant I thought that why Ajay behaved like that? We were getting married soon, he would have done it later, then for sometime I thought that when I had to do sex with Ajay after marriage, then I would have done it before, and later we would have got married. I was thinking about the way out of this problem, I was ready to say sorry to Ajay and to give him my body,

because I needed him; I wanted to get married. And with this complicated mental state I slept that night, and Deepika slept with me in the guest room. Next morning I was somewhat in same mental state, I wanted to avoid facing Kartik, but Deepika forcibly took me to the dining room to eat, there I saw Kartik was sitting calmly and having breakfast,

today he was not wearing specs, and there was a tiny wound near his left eye, I felt very bad for that, but I did not had courage to say even sorry to him. He talked to me very polity and told me that he is trying to talk to Ajay, but he is not picking up his phone, so he will tell me whenever he will be able to talk to him.

After that Deepika continued, and said till then I had to stay here, with them. I accepted and after that Kartik went. I cannot explain that what I had in my mind that day. Deepika gave me strength by saying that I have not done anything wrong and praised me for my courage. I said sorry to her for what I did with Kartik, she smiled and hugged me and again said that I have done nothing wrong.

In the evening Kartik came back, but he did not had any news about Ajay except this that he has reached back to his city. He got this information from his office, but Ajay was not ready to talk to him. Another day passed with a same result, and somewhere I started hating Ajay, but I was still biased, and I needed him.

After a day Kartik told me that he has planed to go to our city, to meet Ajay face to face, and he will be back in a day or two. For me it was hard to believe that people like Kartik and Deepika still exist in the world where people like Ajay has majority. I gave him a no. of my close friend and requested him to talk to her, and ask about my parents.

Kartik left the city on the same night, and came back after a day, Deepika told me that he met Ajay and talked to him, and had a fight with him, because Ajay stepped back from the decision of marriage, and sent a proposal that he is ready to afford my expenses, but he will not marry me, and he can only have live in relation with me.

Later she told me that, when my parents visited Ajay to ask about me, his father got a hint and he came to know about us, and he dominated him and gave him a proposal of good share in business and money if and only if, he will marry with a girl of their choice. And this was the main reason why he stepped back, because here,

he had to work hard to live and there he had established business and all comforts of life. My problems seemed endless to me, because according to my friend, my father was very angry with me, and he was not ready to see my face, now I didn’t had even that door to walk in. I was living in a small city and by that time everybody in our community knew that what I have done.

It was impossible for me to face anybody now. I cried on my deed and felt like committing suicide. In addition to that, Kartik and Deepika were very depressed, Deepika felt that Kartik is responsible for this, because initially he supported Ajay to do this, and on this they went through an argument.

But I knew that only I was responsible for everything happened to me and if Kartik would have said no to Ajay then Ajay would have looked for other contact and as far as his choice of using this contact was concerned it was the best. I stayed with them for next two days, and felt myself as a burden on them, I wanted to go back to my place, and for that I talked to Deepika,

she tried to stop me, but I insisted, I was making my mind to do a job in the city, and live independently, first of all I wanted to change my accommodation, because it had a heavy rent for me, and I was having limited money. For this I talked to Kartik, he understood that I am thinking about money, so he told me not to worry about money, and always feel free to ask any help,

I was bit hesitant to accept money but Deepika forced me and took my account no, and gave it to Kartik, and he deposited good amount on my name. I remained in that flat, and now I had to look for a job. I searched it in newspaper, and gave some interviews but things didn’t work out, after hunting for many days, I got a job of a nursery teacher, it was not fruitful for me,

because I was not getting good money and I had to spent most of it in commuting. But still I did that job for sometime to keep myself busy. There I was in touch with Deepika and she often use to meet me, Kartik was very busy those days, and use to come late at night, and Deepika had full day in spare, even I use to come back by 2, so we spent time together and got closer to each other.

As I said Deepika was very down to earth, she told me many things about their life. Once I asked her about their personal life, that why they never thought about a baby, I saw, her eyes got covered with some water, with some hesitation she told me, that she had conceived few years back, but due to some complications,

she had to go through a surgery in which her uterus was removed, so now she can never be a mother. I realized that nobody is spared with a sorrow in this world. Life moved on, Ajay was past, I was living alone, with my memories, and this loneliness was killing me, although I was in touch of this couple, and many times they took me along with them for a movie and to shop.

Once I visited Deepika’s native place which was not far from the city. Kartik was already my hero, and after knowing his fact of life, I started liking him. I was falling for his every style and gesture. Somewhere lust was rising with in me and I recalled the day when he saw me half naked, strange feeling came into my mind.

Whenever we met I started staring at his body, he was very reserved and mysteries in nature, but I wanted to talk to him freely. Somewhere I was dying under his favors, it was about the money he gave, and everything he did for me. I wanted to pay back his favors, by giving away everything I have, my body my dignity.

I desperately needed physical love, I was living alone just with my thoughts and these thoughts were getting wild and immoral. Somewhere I was jealous of Deepika, because she had pleasure of being his wife. I knew that this is wrong and I should not think like that, but my feelings were not in my control. Whenever I met Kartik I stared at him, I felt like hugging him.

During my conversation with Deepika I wanted her to talk about him. I was keen to know every little detail about him, his liking and disliking. Slowly I realized that I am in love with him. I started fantasizing about him, that he is making love to me, and giving me sexual pleasure. In night I started masturbating on bed keeping him in my mind, and started preparing myself to talk to him, about that.

I made many sentences in English which I thought that I will say to give him a hint about what I feel about him, and then canceled them myself. Apart from pleasure, sometimes I got frustrated because of these thoughts and fantasies, because nothing was happening in reality and moreover I was not happy with my job, so life seemed very miserable.

Life was moving like that, and a day came which I can never forget. It was raining very heavy and time was around 7, because of clouds sky was as dark as it gets around mid-night. I was standing on the door and looking at my first monsoon of the city. Suddenly I saw a car stopped, in front of the gate, and Kartik came out and walked quickly towards the house.

I was happy to see him, and I welcomed him, he told me that he is stuck in this heavy rain, and cannot drive in this, he wanted to stay there for some time. For me it was my good luck. There was a power cut and I was with a light of 3-4 candles, which was sufficient to see anything in the room. I gave him a towel and asked him for tea, he said yes to it.

I prepared tea, and we talked to each other, he asked me about my job, I gave him a true picture and later in that conversation, I said sorry for that day (when I slapped him) he smiled and said it’s OK. I think at that time he glanced at by breast, may be because he recalled the scene and truly speaking I liked him staring at me. Then I said thanks to him for whatever he did for me.

He again replied with same two words, it’s OK. I wanted to say something, any of those sentences which I was making from last few days, but I was very afraid. Once I started but with hesitation stopped in the very beginning, he looked at me and asked me, and insisted me to speak if I need something.

The sentence which I spoke at that time was, “please tell me if I can do something for you, I feel burdened, because of your favors”. He smiled again and looked at me, and again said it’s OK, and please don’t think much about that. My mood was changing, and little water was floating in my eyes. He went quite; I think he was feeling bit embarrassed at that time.

He turned his head to see the rain, and it was getting heavier, he looked at me, few tear drops came out of my eyes and I cleaned them. I don’t know what I was thinking at that time, but I wanted to hug him, he came closer to me and touched me on my shoulder, to make me conscious.

Once I tried to catch his body and opened my arms, to get his hug, but I stopped myself in the middle, he noticed and tried to hold me, and in a fraction I grabbed him and hugged him and started crying. He was holding me very gently and I hugged him very tight. After a minute when we separated,

he said “I think because you r living alone, that is why you are depressed” and he invited me to his house to live, but I said no to it. Then he asked me, do I need something, I said no. Then again he said, “I think your loneliness is your problem, why don’t u think about marriage, forget whatever has happened, and start your life again.”

I looked at him, and again I said “no, I don’t want to get married.” I wanted him to read my brain, but I thought he will not be able to read, but I was mistaken. He started again, after few seconds, and said, “Tanu I know you are attracted towards me, and I like you too, because you belong to a very good family, but the fact is that I am married”.

I was bit amazed, don’t know from when he knew that I like him, and I never got a hint, that he know my feelings. Then he asked me, “Am I saying anything wrong?” I replied in no with my head. I looked at him, he was calm, and every word he spoke was so refined that I felt that he is a master in reading brain, at least mine.

Then he asked me, to speak what I want, I was just silent, then he said, “Tanu I cannot marry you, what else I can do for you?” I looked at him again, he read my mind, and asked me again, “do you need physical love”? I closed my eyes, and remained silent, my heart was beating very high, then again he said “Tanu truly speaking I am also attracted towards you, and I have a desire for you,

and I would love to have physical relation with you, but I don’t see any future in this, and if you say yes then we will do it, but don’t expect much from this relation, I really care for you and I am leaving last decision up to you.” I was sitting silent, again he turned his head to see the intensity of rain, it was still raining, but not that heavy.

He asked for another cup of tea, I prepared it for him. After that he left and told me to sms my decision in just yes or no. That night I could not sleep, I was thinking and just thinking, in one perspective the kind of relation I was expecting from Kartik was same as what Ajay expected from me, but in other outlook there was hell of difference between these two relations.

Kartik had refined definition of everything, and in that context Ajay can not be compared with him at all. I was just trying to decide yes or no, keeping ethics and principals on one side and lust and passion on the other. I wanted to feel his body, I was in love with him and I felt that love is incomplete without physical relation;

I wanted to get him once, just once and for that I made some excuses for myself, to wrap my principals in that, like that what would have happened if Ajay would have succeeded and would have raped me? I would have lost my dignity and virginity in a fraction of a minute. I decided that I will do it only once, and then I will not look for that again.

I made myself understand that I don’t love him, I am just attracted towards him, and I should enjoy this relation, when I am getting opportunity, because I don’t know what will happen next to me. As he said he was also attracted towards me, what else I needed.

Finally next day in the evening I messaged him yes with some shivering. He called me after a day and asked me am I sure, I replied in yes. Then he said that he is depositing cash in my account for my shopping and he gave me date leaving two day between, and time of early morning. He had a plan to take me out of the city, by car and we had to spend night in that city.

I cannot write what thoughts moved in my brain in those two days, because they were too complicated, thoughts of hesitation, guilt, fear, lust and many more; I tried to prepare myself for that night and did some shopping of clothes for me, and spend money to look better.
On the decided date he came to my place, and picked me up. I don’t know what excuse he made to his wife. We were heading towards a nearby city which was a big tourist attraction. We reached there just before lunch and saw monuments and forts of that city, and in the evening we moved towards the hotel, in which our room was booked. It was a five star hotel.

We had dinner in the same hotel and after that he took the keys from the counter, and we proceeded further to get into the room. Soon both of us were standing in the room, it was a beautiful room, with a huge double bed, and a very good looking sofa and now I knew that, I had to be on his bed, and he will be the one who will take off my virginity.

Although he never forced me for this and it was my own decision, that had to sleep with him, but still I was very uneasy, at one time I had some principals, from the very beginning, I wanted to do this with my husband, but it was my destiny and moreover my lust who took me here. I think he sensed my brain and, he came closer to me and told me to get comfortable first.

With that he went to washroom, I was standing in the middle of the room and looking here and there, I looked at the bed, it seemed very comfortable. I knew that in just few minutes I will be laying naked on this bed with Kartik, and he will fuck me whole night. It was a different feeling, somewhere I had an urge for this, I wanted to have sex, may be because I was at certain age,

where sexual yearning touches its peak. He came back and asked me if want to use the washroom, I said yes and went in when I came back in few minutes, he was sitting on a sofa, I looked at him, with a question in my eyes, that what’s next he smiled and said “Tanu mere paas aao”, I came closer to him, he took my hand and tried to pull me and took me in his arms,

I was sitting on his lap, he kissed me for a minute, I did not responded to his kiss, he kissed on my cheek and again whispered in my ear, “ Tanu, u r bit nervous, don’t worry”. I remained silent, then he opened my hairs, which were tied with a clutch, then he took of my pallu from my shoulder, by removing safety pin first, and started kissing on my neck and my breast over my blouse.

It was a strange feeling, I felt something running on my body, and I was feeling butterflies in my stomach. First time any man was touching me in that way with my consent, his hands were exploring my body, my breast, my thighs and my back. He was kissing me everywhere he could do in that sitting posture. We both were bit uncomfortable, doing this while sitting on sofa chair.

He picked me in his arms and took me to the bed, and now I was laying on bed and he was laying beside me, he came over me, and again started kissing me, till this time I was not responding to his kisses, and he sensed, that I am not responding it deliberately, he asked me that am I comfortable with it,

I said yes, then he said, “I think that u r doing this as a task, and u r not willing to do it and if u r doing this to pay back anything then please don’t do that”. I remained silent and looked at him, he was looking in my eyes, again very politely he said “come on, Tanu, I am not forcing you, you can step back if u don’t want to do it”.

He tried to make me understand in a way, the way we talk to a child. I was silent, and he was waiting for my reply, don’t know how and why, tears came in my eyes, and I started crying, he did not said anything, he just remained there, I was crying silently, covering my eyes with my arm and he was looking at me.

After some time I calmed down, he got up and sat on a sofa, and switched on the television, I went to the toilet. I washed my face and looked myself into the mirror, I don’t know why I was crying, I was not at all afraid of Kartik, rather he was the one about whom I was thinking from long time, who has helped me like no one did in my life,

and moreover without any condition and even now at this point where any man would have took this opportunity and fucked me like a bitch in a fraction of a minute, he was asking me to step back. He was gem of a person for me, and I wanted to do it, and I was trying to build confidence in me, so that I can have sex with him.

I came out of the washroom, he was sitting on the sofa, I looked at him, and he smiled again, I sat beside him and again looked at him, he said, “Tanu just be comfortable, we are not doing anything, and don’t feel embarrassed”. I felt like hugging him, and I did that, and he took me in his arms again, and kissed me on my forehead, I was sitting beside him and he was holding me,

I wanted him to continue making love, now I was bit prepared for that, but he was not doing it, he was just holding me, not with a purpose of sex, but with lot of care and affection. I raised my head to look into his eyes, he smiled again, I closed my eyes to give him a hint that I am ready for that, and he understood and placed his lips on mine and started kissing me,

I started responding to his kisses and soon we were exploring each others mouth with our tongues, he licked every corner of my mouth so nicely, that I became insensible in his love making. I closed my eyes and enjoyed his touch his hand moved to my bare stomach and played with my naval.

I was losing control on my body. He moved his one hand upward and touched my breast over the blouse then started squeezing them. Again he took me to bed and took out the safety pin from the plates of my saree, and pulled all the plates together to take off my saree, and in a minute, my saree was on the floor and I was laying in blouse and petticoat.

Then he teased my naval with his fingers and then he licking it. I was holding his head as his tongue was moving further inside my naval. I was making soft sounds and saying… Please stop it. My body was moving enthusiastically in pleasure. He took his shirt off and came over me, and kissed me for few minutes, and moved to my face then to my neck and squeezed my tits, firmly.

I moaned in pleasure, and then he started unhooking my blouse and took it off from my body. Now I was just in bra on my upper half, he lowered both the straps of my bra, and took my breast in his mouth and started sucking them one by one, I was in intense pleasure, his hands were exploring my body again, he was sucking one breast and playing with other,

then he moved his hand to my thighs and rubbed them over the cloth, then he stopped sucking my tits and pulled my petticoat up to my knees and inserted his hand in that and touched my bare thighs, I became restless, and trembled in pleasure, he was rubbing my inner thighs and looking at my reactions and listening my pleasure moans, I was never touched by anybody like that in my life,

his touch was so tender and sensual that in a minute or two I felt that I have cummed, suddenly I felt that I am totally wet in my panty. Kartik was playing with my body and I was moaning like anything. He rubbed my thighs for a while and tenderly touched my cunt over my panty, I was breathing heavy he started rubbing my wet pussy over panty and I was enjoying it,

my juices were flowing freely from my love hole and my pussy was getting a massage of that fluid by him, I was holding my pillow, and my eyes were closed, I was enjoying every second of his love making. Then he got up and took out my bra which was stuck in my arms and then opened the knot of my petticoat and took it off through my legs, I was now just in panty,

in a second or two I was not even with my panty, and I was laying totally naked in front of him, for few seconds he just stared at my body, I was hiding my cunt between my legs, rest of my body was laying there for him to stare. Then he started taking off his clothes and took off his undershirt first, and then trouser, in a second he was also completely nude laying beside me,

for the first time I was looking at a naked man in reality, he had a big cock which was fully erect, for few seconds I got scared with a thought that today I will be ripped very badly. He again took me in his arms and started kissing and fondling my body nicely with his hand, he played with my breast again and then took his hand straight to my thighs, and tried to touch my cunt,

I was holding it in my thighs and I was totally wet there, he tried to separate my thighs to touch my pussy but I was little uneasy to give away the access of my love hole to him. He kissed on my cheek and took my earlobe in his mouth and sucked it, I went mad in pleasure with this, he murmured in my ear in a very low voice,

“Tanu spread your legs” and then he tried again to spread my legs to touch my cunt, but I was very uneasy, it was my first time, I was bit insecure and unconsciously I was stopping him to touch my naked cunt. After couple of unsuccessful tries he kissed me on my neck and again started sucking my tits for a while, and moved down and licked my body till my waist,

then he moved further kissed my thighs near my love spot, and moved further and kissed me till my toes, and then he turned me on my stomach, now my bare hips were laying in front of him, he took both of my hips in his hands and gently rubbed them and squeezed them together and then kissed them and moved further to my waist and again licked my whole back till my shoulder and came on me,

I simply got mad in pleasure because of his tenderness, and slowly my sexual desire was overcoming my fear of getting penetrated. I was feeling his penis on the cut of my hips, he was kissing me on back of my neck closer to my ears and driving me crazy, I was trembling in pleasure.

Then again he turned me on my back; my hairs were spread allover my face and I was breathing very heavy and short. He then moved down lifted one of my leg and started kissing me from my feet till he reached my thighs. My entire body was loved by him. He started licking my inner thighs, now he could see my soft virgin cunt, which was drenched in its own liquid,

he kissed my wet pussy, a current passed through my body and I tried my best to resist, but my legs were apart now and he was too strong. He hugged my waist with both his hands and kissed my cunt again and again. I was moaning and he started licking my soft cunt. My pussy was shaved and he was licking it like an ice-cream.

I was totally wet down there and he was licking all my juices. Then he started to enter his tongue in my pussy and sucked my hole, to take out whatever liquid is inside. I got crazy with such an erotic act. I was pushing his head toward me and lifting my body again and again in pleasure, after some time I couldn’t control myself,

and tightened my body and went through first orgasm of my life. After that I became bit unconscious, I was feeling very tired, I was laying on my back and remained on bed in the same posture for sometime, Kartik was laying beside me and looking at me, I was breathing short because of the orgasm I just had, then he got up and went to the toilet,

and came after some time, and asked me if I want to use the toilet, I wanted to, but I had some weakness, he helped me and I went to toilet, when I came out of it, he was standing on the door of the toilet. Holding my wrist gently he again took me inside the bathroom, and we stood under the shower, he kissed me under water for some time and rubbed my cunt,

with his finger and made me moan again in pleasure. I was feeling his dick on my lower waist and his hands allover my body, and again I started flooding from my cunt. We took a bath together in a tub, and he rubbed my whole body, which really took out my tiredness, we were laying and kissing in a tub of warm water,

and he was tenderly playing with every part of my body in water with his hands, my breast, nipples, navel, my cunt and hips. He was such a good lover that he made me feel like heaven on earth. After some time we came out of the tub, and dried our body with towel, and soon we were again laying on bed and loving each other.

While kissing me he took my hand to his cock, and gave it to me. It was long and thick, which was hard and strong like a metal rod. He took off its skin and showed me the way to do it, and I did that and started jerking it with my hand. I was looking at the rod, and thinking that what will happen to me when this will enter inside my tiny hole.

Then he asked me, “Tanu if you feel OK then please love it using your mouth”. I was bit hesitant to do it, but I got up and started caressing it with my hand and then I kissed at its tip. He guided me for the way to do it in short. He was laying on bed and I was sitting near, holding his hard cock in my hand.

It was so long that I couldn’t take it all in my mouth but still I licked it with a to and fro motion rubbing his foreskin with my soft and pink lips. I was moving my tongue all around it and Kartik was at the top of his ecstasy. In the beginning I had strange feeling, that I have taken a piece of flesh in my mouth and sucking it, although there was no smell and it was tasteless,

but after 2-3 minutes as I saw that Kartik is in such a pleasure I started liking it, he was making pleasure sounds and I was liking his moans, I increased my speed of moving his skin up and down and sucked his dick more passionately, his moans grew intense. He couldn’t control longer and pulled me on the bed and got over me.

Both of us were breathless and our hearts were beating really fast. He again started licking my pussy crazily and took my clit in his mouth and flicked it with his tongue, in a minute I was moaning in pleasure, and my juices started flowing freely. After he had tongue fucked me for sometime,

he came over me and wrapped my legs around his waist and took his hard cock and rubbed it on my pussy hole. I became very restless and started breathing more heavily, and flow of my love fluid became even more intense, I was just few seconds away from losing my virginity, and there was no sign of fear in me, I needed him, I was feeling some kind of contraction inside me,

my cunt was twitching with a desire of getting penetrated. With a stroke he pushed himself inside me; my pussy was so wet that his dick slipped in, it injured me a lot and I almost cried in pain, and with another push his whole cock was inside me, and my soft love hole was completely scratched by him, I think for few seconds I was again unconscious due to pain,

and when I regained, he was sucking my tits laying on me, with his hard cock deep inside me. He remained there for few more minutes and played with my body, till I recovered a bit from the pain. Then he started slow movement of his cock in my cunt, it was a different feeling of pain and pleasure together.

After few in and out movement of his dick I was moaning more in a pleasure and less in a pain, he was fucking me very nicely. He was not at all in hurry and was trying to deliver me the pleasure of being a woman, and slowly I was heading towards that pleasure, and soon my pain disappeared and I was completely enjoying his hard cock deep inside me,

he was making movements steadily, in different directions and every corner of my deep cunt was getting messaged by his hard cock. His rod was now moving with ease in my hole because of the pleasure juices which were flooding out from my cunt. While he was fucking me, at a particular angle of penetration I felt that I will burst in pleasure,

my moans got very loud and clear, and he sensed that and fucked me in a same posture for hardly a minute or two, and I exploded in another powerful orgasm, I clenched his back with my nails and tightened my legs around his body, to prevent his further movement, so that I can cum. He stopped and I cummed intensely.

My body was trembling in pleasure and I was shouting in pleasure, he was just looking at me, some kind of waves was moving in my body, starting from my pelvis to my breast which was making me shiver and I was breathing with difficulty. It was most powerful orgasm of my life till now.

After few minutes when I regained my conscious, Kartik withdrew his dick from my hole and sat beside me, and took me in his arms, and continued loving me. He sucked my tits for a while and made me lay down on my stomach with my legs spread, he kept two pillows under my stomach, and held my waist with one hand and rested his hard dick on my opening,

and with a single knock he was again fully inside me. It pained me for a second but soon his movements were giving me pleasure again, he was laying on me and fucking me from behind. He pumped me from there for few minutes, and his movements were very steady. It was a very pleasurable position for both of us,

his moans were rising and I could feel him going to his peak with every stroke he made inside my cunt hole, he increased his pace and puffed in pleasure and with in a minute he buried his cock in the deepest corner of my cave. I felt his hot liquid getting injected deep inside me.

We rested for some time on the bed as it is, and after that used the toilet one by one and cleaned ourselves, and slept in each other’s arms till morning. When I got up he was sleeping, I looked at his face, he was sleeping peacefully looking very charming, for me he was my everything now, and I was happy that I have given my most valuable thing to him, that is my virginity.

If anybody see from outside then I was not more than his slut, but only we knew that what value we have for each other. I kissed him on his lips, he got up from the sleep and opened his eyes and smiled, I replied him with a smile, and we started kissing again and after kissing for a while he again entered in me, in a missionary position and fucked me till we cummed again.

It was again very pleasurable intercourse, which we both enjoyed. After some time we checked out from the hotel and after few hours of drive we were back in our city. He dropped me home and droved to his place. While coming back he asked me about my experience of last night, I gave him a positive response about my first sex experience.

I asked him too about his experience with me, and he also gave me positive response. He asked me if we can have more of such meetings in future, for which I asked for some time to think. After that for some time I had a guilt feeling on what I did, I was feeling sorry for Deepika.

But somewhere I liked the whole episode of spending a night with Kartik and everything he did to me and truly speaking that night of sexual pleasure ignited a new flame of desire in my body it was pure lust and nothing else. Next few days I masturbated, by just recalling whatever he did with my body, and intensity of pleasure of masturbation had a big difference than before.

I wanted to talk to him and spend time with him, somewhere I had a desire to spend my whole life with him, although I knew that he is already committed, but still I was in love with him. Generally me and Deepika use to talk to each other, just a routine conversation, but now I wanted to talk to him, or I just wanted to see him, and with that intention, I invited both of them on dinner.

I prepared food giving my best and we had good time together, he praised the food. I was happy to see him, and somewhere I was missing him, may be it was a sexual urge which was rising in me, my body needed him. I wanted to say yes to his proposal, but he did not asked me. For that I was looking into his eyes intentionally, and he always smiled when I looked at him and I blushed every time.

Deepika invited me to come along with them to there house, to spend a night, I wanted to spend time with them so I said yes, after some time we were in their house, we had coffee and chatted and first time I saw that first time Kartik was bit involved in chatting. I was keen to say yes to his proposal, and I think he could have easily guessed that from my gesture.

Finally we decided to go to bed, but Kartik had some paper work, so he remained in the drawing room and me and Deepika proceeded to our rooms. After around 10 minutes or so when I was about to settle in the bed I received a sms from Kartik. There was just a question mark in the message, for which I replied yes.

I was expecting that he will come to guest room and take me in his arms but he didn’t, after some time I came out of the room, to get a glass of water, and intentionally to see him, he was working on laptop, I looked at him, he smiled and said that he has talked to someone for my job, so I had to go and meet him for that. And he said he will give me details later in the morning.

I came back to my room, and slept. In the morning I got ready and Kartik dropped me home, through out the way I wanted to ask him that when will we do it again, but I was hesitating a lot, and I was unable to ask him. Finally I reached my home, and just before leaving he said he will come in the evening and we will have tea together. Shyly I just managed to say ok.

Through out the day I was waiting for the evening, I was drenched in the thoughts of getting seduced by him again, and whole day my cunt was releasing fluid, and I was totally wet through out the day. In a way I was in heaven with those thoughts, it was pure lust and sexual desire which was driving me crazy.

I took a bath in the evening and did some preparations for the snacks, he came around 4:30 and we had tea together, and after that he took me in his arms and started making love to me, I was wearing kurta with chuddidar pajami, he took me to my bedroom, where I had just double bed mattress laying on floor,

we kissed for some time and he took off my all clothes one by one and then his own, and touched my whole body so sensually, that I felt that I will cum without getting penetrated, he seduced me once again with such a love and affection, after proper foreplay, that once again I was on the height of physical satisfaction.

He fucked me twice in those 3 hours, and I cummed thrice in that time, I was delighted with the sexual pleasure. Before leaving he gave me a visiting card and details of a person with whom I was suppose to meet, for my job. I slept well in the night. Next day I met that person, he was Rakesh, senior merchandiser of a big buying house.

He was Kartik’s classmate at one time; I got the job, which I knew that I will get it. Rakesh was very casual in personality, with very good sense of humor. He had a nature of creating jokes from normal conversation, I was appointed as his assistant, and I had to handle his paperwork, although I did not had any experience of working, and it happened just because of Rakesh,

because I was referred by Kartik, Rakesh helped me a lot to get working in big organization. For Rakesh I was friend of Deepika, and he was very kind and helpful to me from the beginning and instead of taking me as his assistant, he took me as a friend and whenever he was in office at the time of lunch, we had lunch together.

Slowly I settled down in the working atmosphere, and I was doing fine, and I was getting good value of my work. I had good friendly relation with my other collogues also, and my sexual needs were getting fulfilled by Kartik. He use to seduce me 3-4 times in a month. Sometimes he use to come in the evening for an hour or so in the working days, and use to fuck me,

and sometimes on Sundays he use to come around 12, and we spent sufficient time with each other on bed till 4. He was very reserved and never talked to me about his personal life, but somewhere I felt that he is starved for physical love, because of Deepika’s medical reasons, she did not had much desire for sex, and person like Kartik cannot do sex just for his satisfaction.

I felt myself honored for this, that somehow I am doing something for him. He read me like a book and knew everything about my sexual needs; he explored my body in a way that my own body revealed me many secrets of my pleasure points, and whenever he fucked me, I touched a new peak of sexual satisfaction.

Slowly I was getting addicted of Kartik and his physical love, and many times I called him, to ask that when is coming, and cared about my feelings, and gave me physical love and mental support whenever I needed. He also admitted that he loves my company, and he has not touched any woman except his wife and me ever,

rather he never felt doing sex with anybody except his wife and me. Other then sexual relation with him, he involved me his friend circle as Deepika’s friend, and many times he called me in his friends get together where I met few of his friends, and their family, and Rakesh was one of them. In those get together I came to know few things about Rakesh,

Deepika told me that he has gone through a divorce a years back, and from then he is living alone and single, because his parents live at there native place. According to Deepika he was deeply in love with his wife, but after around four years of married life, his wife asked for a divorce because she wanted to marry her boss, who was much richer than Rakesh.

They didn’t had any child, so matter ended on a mutual consent of divorce. I was amazed with that; I thought how he can he be so jolly and cheerful when he has gone through this phase of life. He was such a good human being from the heart, how can any sensible girl do that. And like Rakesh I met many of Kartik’s and Deepika’s friends

and all of them were very nice and seemed to belong from good class of society, well educated and financially sound. More or less I was in a very good circle of people, and I was fairly happy with my living conditions, my professional life was running smooth with a companionship of Rakesh, and as I said my sex life with Kartik was like what I needed.

Like that time passed and life moved on. After around 6 months of my working in that company with Rakesh another day came which I cannot forget. Rakesh took me out of the office for lunch, and there he proposed me for marriage. I was stunned, and silent, I knew that he do not know anything about me, and neither I had a courage to talk to him about my past and present.

I just remained silent, my mind was blocked, and I was incapable to think anything in that context. Rakesh himself told me that I can take time to think. That day I came back to my home and cried a lot, it was an opportunity for me to settle down in life, and I didn’t know how to react.

Rakesh was such a wonderful person, that for me it was hard to believe, that he has asked a girl like me for marriage. Next day I took a leave from office, I was so disturbed and confused. I wanted to be alone for some time, I was stuck in such a strange condition, I knew that I cannot say yes to Rakesh’s marriage proposal without asking Kartik, and I did not know how to ask him,

I did not had any idea that how Kartik is going to react on this, he was so reserved and mysterious, that for me it was impossible to predict him. I was not expecting negative reaction from him, but still I was afraid that if he will speak up the truth about my and his relation, to Rakesh then I will not be able to work with his company and I had to leave the job,

and in anyway I could not think of living in the city without Kartik’s help. I knew that I am important for him; he was getting something from me which he was not getting from his wife that is sexual pleasure, so he will not let me go easily, and somewhere I wanted to be with him only, he was my hero, he was everywhere in my mind.

I was very confused and hesitant to decide anything firm; I was attracted towards the respectful life with Rakesh too. Somewhere in the evening I made a mind that I have to say no to Rakesh. I was very depressed, around 7 Kartik called me that he wants to meet me. It was the last thing I was expecting at that time,

he told me that Deepika is out of city to meet her parents and if we can spend night together, I wanted to say no because, I was not at all in that mental state, where I can enjoy a night with him on bed, but I said yes, just for him. He picked me from my house and we had dinner in a very good restaurant, I was very nervous and depressed, I wanted to cry for some more time,

to take out whatever frustration I had in me for my life, but I had to control myself. After dinner he took me to a five star hotel, where he had booked a room for the night. Once again it was a beautiful room, with perfect interior. Now I was expecting another love session between us, and I was preparing myself for that, I wanted to be normal and wanted to enjoy this night,

the way I have enjoyed every single moment of intimacy with him, but even after so many efforts I was unable to do that. He was sitting on a couch and waiting for me, I used the toilet, and came back, he made me sit beside him and hugged me, with lot of love and affection, and I closed my eyes and controlled myself a lot.

Suddenly he asked me “What did you thought about Rakesh’s proposal”. I was totally shocked, I looked at him, tears were floating in my eyes, I wanted to ask him that how do you know about that, but not a single word came out of my mouth, I was just trying to control myself, and he understood, he told me that Rakesh has talked to him first and asked about me.

On that particular moment I busted in a cry and I cried a lot in his arms. After some time when I gained some senses, he kissed me on my forehead and said that, Rakesh is a gem and he knows him from his collage time and I should say yes to him. I had many question in my mind, but I was almost dumb at that time, Kartik was speaking and I was just listening,

he knew that what I have in my mind and one by one he cleared everything. Rakesh knew every truth about my past with little modification, he knew that I am not Deepika’s friend and I was dumped by Ajay, and I had sexual relation with Ajay in the past. He told me that Rakesh do not know anything about our relation, and Kartik wanted me to just be silent in that context,

he told me that from this moment we are ending our relation, and we will be like the way we were before. For me it was hard to believe that whatever is happening to me is real, it felt like a dream to me, I was not finished with the thing which was buried inside me and I hugged him again and started crying again. He took me in his arms and hugged me with love and care.

I was mentally so tired, that I wanted to sleep, but don’t know why I asked him, if he wants to have sex, may be because I wanted to have sex with him, but he said no, he was the man of his words. He said that he has ended this relation here, so we cannot do anything now. We spent a night together, in a same room, on the same bed, but we did not had sex that night and ever after.

Next morning he dropped me home, again I missed the office that day. Next day was Sunday, and Deepika was back in town, she invited me in the evening, where I met Rakesh, and I said yes to him for marriage. After a month I got married to Rakesh, and his family accepted me gladly.

I got settled with Rakesh, and lived beautiful life of love and care with him, and lovely friendly relation with Kartik and Deepika. At that time there was only one sorrow which was left in my life, that I had a desire to meet my parents and wanted to say sorry to them, but I was afraid to face them. And as a friend I talked to Deepika about that.

I don’t know how and when, one day they were, standing on the door of my house. It was another shock of my life, for a second I felt that I will collapse. I hugged them and cried and cried in there arms for the whole day. It was again Kartik and Deepika who brought them here; it was the most wonderful and happiest moment of my life, which they gifted me.

Right now I am a mother of Rakesh’s child; and he loves me a lot, and I also love him more than my life. I admire Kartik and Deepika and take them as my god, you may find this an exaggeration for any human being, but believe me for me it’s true. I often meet Kartik and Deepika in get together.

They are as they were, Deepika is very friendly and Kartik is what he was, reserved and mysterious. As I wrote in the beginning, if anybody can take any lesson from this then it will be real value for this post, believe me I really mean that. I feel sometimes we speak about our own life and our deepest thoughts to strangers, during any journey or somewhat like this,

about which we cannot talk to our loved ones, may be because of that I am feeling bit relieved by writing this whole thing. I know that I have made many grammar mistakes in this, please ignore. And do write comments if you feel, but please don’t embarrass by writing non sense comments and proposals.

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