Getting Punked

Dad and I were at the hardware store when Robert called. I showed the screen of my phone to my dad before answering. He rolled his eyes and I giggled. My husband Robert was both sweet and stupid. My parents had never supported the match. I didn’t anymore, either. “Honey, got the chance to leave the office early so I’m working from home for the rest of the day.” Thanks for the big news, Robert. Sometimes I didn’t know what he was trying to tell me. This was one of those times.

Besides, I had better things to do. I was busy spending time with my dad running errands. Being with him was almost always fun. He and I had been buddies all of my life. He had been an officer in the military and I was just about your average military brat. He was my gentle giant and I wanted to be the good girl. He was also a wry trickster and I was his partner in crime. We were constantly laughing to ourselves and secretly punking everyone around us – from the barista in the coffee shop to my mom to the paranoid neighbor across the street. Everyone was a potential victim for me, and I sure wasn’t going to stop at my husband. He was used to it. Not that he seemed to get smarter; he just took the hits like a sweet and polite man. This time around I really wanted to take it up a notch – especially after our conversation this past weekend.

“Watch this,” I said to my dad softly as I held the phone away so Robert couldn’t hear. I had to stop myself from laughing before I spoke.

And then to my husband, “I’ve got that surprise set up for you. Whattaya think?” 

This was code. Robert had been talking about bringing a third man into our relationship. He wanted us to both get off with the same guy. I let him talk – and thought he was making a fool of himself. He actually made me a little nauseous. I mean, we were sitting at breakfast and he was confronting me with this wash. Instead of embarrassing Robert directly, I had told him that I would be up for it if it came naturally. I had sipped my hot coffee and teased, “You never know. I may surprise you.” Like hell I would.

Standing strong with my dad at my side, I knew that this may be my chance. Exposing my husband as some faggy cuckold in front of my own father would be priceless! Besides, I didn’t like that the two of them had this weird relationship. They were always talking guy-talk. All serious. The weight of the world was on their shoulders in so many of their conversations. Robert didn’t respect my dad like he should; he seemed to think that they were equals. And, sure, my dad was always laughing at Robert, the cube nerd, but he wasn’t recognizing what a freak he truly was. No, I needed to expose Robert once and for all. Suggesting that I had a surprise would get my husband all hot and heavy. And Robert took the bait. “Are you sure? It didn’t seem like you would want to follow up on this.”

I took a deep breath in order stay cool. “Sure, Honey, I’m sure. Let’s give it try. You know me.” My dad chuckled.

“What was that? Is he with you now? Who is that?” my husband rattled.

Seriously, Robert was too good for this world. And way too fucking naïve. “As a matter of fact he is. An old boyfriend of mine from college. A troublemaker like me. And trustworthy. I texted him after we talked the other day to check him out. He’ll give it a shot but wants to stay anonymous. You’re going to need to wear a blindfold.”

“A blindfold? Are you kidding me? I’m not putting on a blindfold like some prude. Either we’re going to do this, Carrie, or we’re not.”

I was losing him. Shit. Looking at my dad, I explained to my husband, “Believe me, Robert, he’s worth it. Let’s go at this one step at a time. I’m sure that he’ll let you take off the blindfold as soon as we’ve broken the ice.”

“Ok, if you think so.” He hesitated. “When will you guys get here?”

“Give us about an hour. I want to pick up a couple of things.” This was a lie, more bait. I’m sure Robert would be imagining all kinds of freaky stuff. I mean, he already had lube and a vibrator on his side of the bed. He even used it in front of me sometimes, but I couldn’t really watch. A scruffy guy with beard and glasses running a purple plastic dick up and down his tool seemed too weird to me.

My heart pounded as my dad and I walked through the hardware store. This was a real good one. I was sure it would be a prank to remember. Punked, faggot. I explained everything to my dad as we passed through the aisles. I told him about the three-way, the lube and vibrator in Robert’s nightstand, and my master plan. Dad listened intently. Maybe with a little more sobriety than I had expected, but, in the end, he said he was game. He thought that this may a great way draw a line under what had been going on. His voice was deep and somber, “Clear the air, you know. Take out the tension.”

Nothing could have prepared me for what happened then in our house in Little Armenia. Welcome to LA.

Dad and I drove up to our apartment building and parked out back. The place was quiet when we walked in the door. “Robert?” I called.

And from our bedroom I heard a clear voice, “In here guys.”

My dad was about to say something and I shushed him. I wasn’t ready for my surprise yet. We took off our shoes and walked into the bedroom. There Robert sat in all of his glory. Naked and blindfolded on the padded bench in front of our bed. He was visibly excited. His cock stood tall in its nest, his hands at his sides. “So what now?” he asked. I couldn’t believe he had taken it this far so quick. I guess I should have been staring at his dick or something, but I could only focus on the constellation of tattooed stars wrapping around his chest, shoulders and back. He had had that done for me. He was so exposed and I didn’t know what to say. My dad stared at him, at his junk, and was of no help. How did I really expect this to be a prank?

Robert made a proposal. “Well, I thought I had already broken the ice. Seems not.” He paused and his erection softened a little. “I’m showing you my dick. Why don’t you let me get to know yours? Mr.?”

“No Mr. Anything yet, Robert,” I advised. “Hold your horses.” 

This was absolutely preposterous! I busted up laughing but disguised it as a sneeze. I didn’t know what to do. My hands and feet were sweating. I shrugged my shoulders up over my ears as I looked at my dad. But he just smiled and gestured that I wait. I could tell that he had an idea. He walked up to Robert and pushed the crotch of his 501s against my husband’s shoulder. Dad grunted something deep like, “Hmmrh.” Ok. I wondered if it was a guy-thing. My father was clearly suppressing the urge to crack up.

“Hey,” Robert said as if greeting an old friend, and slid his hands up to undo my dad’s belt. Oh shit, I thought, my dad’s not going to be having that. But he looked at me and smiled. Looked like he had a plan. Robert actually opened the buckle and started unbuttoning the front of his jeans. I have to admit, my husband was skillful – and fast. As he pulled down my dad’s pants he took the boxers with them. I’d seen my dad naked before. No real issue to me. But I didn’t remember seeing him like this. So retracted. His penis was compact and tucked into his the felt of his crotch. Dense fur everywhere. For some reason I had never considered Robert to be well-endowed. His compact and very erect 6-incher was starting to look real filling to me now, though. The problem was that Robert was clearly noticing that my dad didn’t seem the least bit interested. At least his pecker wasn’t showing it. Our joke was getting weak and growing old all of a sudden. My dad was somehow looking sad. Do something, Dad, I thought. Come again, self. We were in this one together.

“Nervous?” Robert offered. “I know what that’s like. It sure isn’t easy being a dude who swings both ways. Don’t worry, our bodies tell us what to do.” Where in the hell was he getting this from? He didn’t realize he was talking with my dad. I almost intervened but my dad’s look told me to stay put. Robert pulled my dad closer and inhaled deep at his sex. He was like a gentle bloodhound patiently looking for treasure. At one point he pressed the side of his face against my father’s loins and breathed in the smell of his cock. It twitched. Yes, I could see that it was growing. Not how I expected this to go. And, to my added surprise, I felt my pussy start to tingle when I saw it expand. “That’s it,” Robert coaxed like he was talking to a man on a ledge. He was now prodding my dad’s nuts with his nose, digging deeper into his seat. “You’re so warm.” And then my husband was kissing my father’s cock like a lover. Little kisses along its side and at the tip. Kisses to his hairy balls and to his upper thighs. Kisses nestled deep into the bush surrounding his excitement. My dad stood still and astonished like an unbelieving boy just invited to a shopping spree in a toy store.

Dad’s cock, however, was now very alive and rock solid. I was close to sopping wet. In the meantime Robert had progressed to blowing at the fat head of dad’s hard-on, which was getting slicker by the minute. My father’s eyes were closed. I had to slide one hand under my skirt to press into my moist. It was like an itch, really. I couldn’t help but moan when my fingers touched my swelling cunt. No one paid any attention to me. Except Robert. “This is turning you on, too. I hear it. Why don’t you get undressed?” I wasn’t quite ready to get naked in front of my father, even though he obviously had his mind on something else. Instead, I stepped out of my underpants so I had my twat in easy reach. My blouse was already open and I unbuttoned it more. I’m not especially interested in my own tits, but I felt my right nipple twitch when I touched it with my left hand. Robert had his lips around the bulb now, licking and tasting the piss slit. My dad had placed his hands on Robert’s shoulders as he worked.

Watching my husband cleaning, caressing my dad’s gear, my body was gaining heat. My skin flushed as he licked at his solid tool with broad strokes from his tongue. When he reached the tip he gobbled it down little by little into his mouth. Sensations pulsed through my clit down along my sweet soft prickkisser as I watched them. It was if Dad let out a moan for the both of us. He was genuinely liking this. I had never seen him so full of surrender. Almost lost. Robert released him and pulled one hairy globe of his nutsack into his mouth like a Tootsie Pop. My dad obviously enjoyed this, too. His grip tightened on his shoulders. My husband then suckled on the other and then nuzzled deep to the hilt of his staff under his balls. My dad spread his legs to allow him access. I felt myself opening with him. I was ripe and I could smell it. As if coming up slowly for air from an exotic subterranean realm, Robert calmly requested, “Why don’t you come sit on my lap while I do this, Babe?”

In retrospect I wonder – as well as anyone may – what moved me to hike up my skirt and lower myself on my husband’s prick while he was giving my dad a blowjob. Two hours before that I would’ve laughed myself silly over the absurdity of the idea. But that was then. You know, for one, I was in heat like a fucking wildcat. Nothing intellectual, just pure animalism. My primitive cunt needed attention. Sure, I could have whipped her into a little bit of shape if I’d continued fingering myself, but I wanted a real man in me. Given, my husband may not be your fairy tale straight guy. However, he’s got a lot more spunk and balls than other men I’ve met. I decided I was much more interested in keeping him than losing him. Second, as to closing in on my dad’s baby-maker, well, I have to say that it was looking mighty virile, too. This fucker was in his zone, if you get what I mean. Blood or no blood, he was hot. Plus, he was and is my friend. We rarely do this or that just because we’re related. To keep this short, I’m sure as hell able to make the call as to with whom I hit the sack. So I obliged and straddled his lap.

And my husband’s cock felt real fucking good, ladies and gentlemen.

He was sweet, too, as he dropped my dad’s dripping cock from his mouth and gave me a sloppy kiss. He was high on this like we were. Dazed. And then he turned just as quickly back to his service. With his left hand he held me at the small of my back. That was enough direction for me; I knew how to work a hard dick. I gave him space to suck as I gyrated my hips against his hardness. The bulb was hitting me at the right angle. Spasms shot through my cunt. I finely tweaked my good friend, the button, with my thumb and middle finger as I fucked him. This was nice. Time with him, him and myself. Robert interrupted me, though. “Wanna taste?” This was new. And I don’t think he understood what he was asking. Dad did, however, because he looked me straight in the eye. This was a dare I had to take. I opened mouth to taste my father’s cock for the first time, syrupy and wet from my husband’s spit and Dad’s precum. Fuck, it was throbbing and alive. I invited him to enter. Rocking on Robert’s horn, I quickened my pace. Blood of my blood. Dad’s sex was full in my mouth. The smell of it consumed and intoxicated me. I was lifting off. “That’s it. You like that? You needed it, too, didn’t you?” my husband rightfully assumed. With my dad’s cock sliding in and out of my mouth, I was riding Robert’s long probe deep into my chamber. He kept hitting the sweet spot with his dome. And the bushy frizz around the base of his prick rubbed against my clit. Aw, fuck, sometimes two holes are better than one. Especially when they’re filled so complete. The friction on my lips took me over the top. My nipples and my skin were being stroked by my husband’s hairy body, my dad’s hair legs. I was all caught up between them. All of a sudden I was cumming full force just like the bitch in heat I wanted to be. And hungry for much more.

Hands down, I was in my own world by now. My box was sending so many electric impulses through my body that I couldn’t have told you my name. I was alive, though. Super alive. This may have been how the Bride of Frankenstein had felt if she had had a sunnier personality. A new me was being born. Someone who takes a dare and learns from it. I was wrong about Robert and my father. So the fuck what. Time to get my juice flowing in the right direction. I loved how it circulated through my body. Dad must’ve noticed my distraction, because he pulled his fat club out of my mouth and fed it to Robert, who immediately inhaled it to its base. Maybe he liked more what Robert had to give. Have to admit that he’s the better cocksucker. He sings praises to the phallus with a helluva lot more devotion than I ever could. I could sense that he was thirsting for my dad to cum in his mouth, to feed him ambrosia. Yes, my husband clearly had a voracious appetite for seed in his belly. Fine by me. So did I. Just want it in a different place.

I started kissing Robert on his neck and chest as he sucked off my dad. I was supporting my new hero in my own way. And I massaged his cock with my warm and gripping sheath. It was almost like realizing you know how to dance. The walls of my cunt pulsed around him as slid up and down his pole. He sucked and I fucked. All three of us were in heaven for a moment. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Robert was doing something with his right hand to my dad’s ass. Whatever it was, Dad was grunting like a lustful boar, his hands on Robert’s head for the fast-paced skullfuck. They were both close. Dad was up his tippy toes with his head flung back, mouth open. The muscles in his legs were tense and strong like steel cables. He didn’t have much space to maneuver his prick, though, because my husband had it lodged deep in his throat, his hands clenched my father’s ass. Mounted on Robert’s lap, I pussyhandled his locked-and-loaded cannon. Out of the depth of his belly, Dad groaned some sound unrelated to normal human vocabulary. I knew he was cumming full force, even though I would never see a drop of it. I harnessed Robert’s bucking hips as he exploded into my welcoming womb. Everything in his groin throbbed against and in me. And then there was silence. That holy moment.

I laid my head on Robert’s shoulder. He busied himself by gently milking the rest of the jizz out of my dad’s softening dick. It sounded like he was cooing. I could smell the cum on his hot breath. My pussy was thankful for the pause and the bliss. Robert was still hard inside of me even though he had just dropped a load. And I noticed that Dad was already stiffening up again.

“Somebody here needs to get fucked. Why don’t you go to our room and get some lube?” Robert was officially taking charge. Fair enough. Seems like he was the only one who knew what needed to be done in our relationship. I give him an A+ for both the idea and its execution. Also, I had been a real asshole to him. Time to make amends. With a new sense of joy I dismounted him and gave him a kiss. My pussy was a juicy delight. I felt so thankful to have it, a true storehouse of wonder. Just for fun I planted a kiss on my dad’s open lips, too. Now smiling at my husband’s eccentricity, I ran to our bedroom to get the lube in his nightstand. I left the purple vibrator in the drawer for another time.

With light and happy footsteps I wondered how Robert was going to convince my father to fuck another dude, much less his own son-in-law. I had no doubt that he could. All of this had become his creative work. Under his direction a silly prank had turned into a meaningful experience. My dad may be a conservative hard-ass, but in Robert’s skillful hands he was becoming soft like butter.

When I came back to the room, my father was standing, knees bent, and had his ass planted in my husband’s face, who hadn’t moved an inch from the obviously comfortable cushioned bench at the foot of our bed. Dad’s hands were spreading his own cheeks out so that Robert could get to his hole. It was kind of funny; Robert was still wearing the blindfold. I had stopped caring if he knew it was my dad he was rimming. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. I started to wonder if he was feeling comfortable with it, though. The darkness and its secrets. I’m sure he’d take it off when he was ready. I have to say it again: Those guys were intense together. Lovely that I could observe them without them feeling the least bit intrusive. Dad had his eyes closed most of the time anyway. And Robert was busy pushing his tongue deep into the tender bud. I could tell he was working on a new rhythm, too. He would penetrate, pull back and swipe Dad’s crack with his wide tongue from the base of his nuts all the way up to the top where the cheeks met. And then he worked with his fingers in and out of that sensitive pink hole – sometimes slow, sometimes fast – as he licked around the puckered ass lips. And then he would plunge his tongue in again. Damn, this guy knew his shit. It dawned on me that I should let him work my pussy more with his mouth when he asks.

“Hand me the lube, Carrie.” Places to be, things to do. I get it, Robert. I continued to wonder why I never saw this part of him. I liked it. And gave him the tube.

His hands moved tenderly and purposefully like a doctor. I noted that my dad was whimpering now, expecting something beautiful to happen – not only with his ass, but with his whole body. Robert lubed up his own cock quickly and efficiently. He then took his time to massage the slick into and around my father’s hole. He took his time fingering it, first one, then two fingers together. Both of their cocks pulsed in anticipation. Dad sunk his knees down to the floor. This was too much for him. His head dropped, his downy butt lifted for more attention. A string of precum connected his portly nozzle with the floor. Mouth open, eyes half shut, he groaned and yammered. Honestly, I didn’t recognize him. He was gone. Sex nirvana, I guess. I knew, though, that Robert better hurry. Dad needed to get fucked quick.

Robert noticed this, too. He reached around my dad and slathered up his dick with the lube as well. Dad winced and let out a yip. Too much sensation. The dude was ready to cum anyway. “Relax, Jim,” he coaxed. Ok, so he did know that this was my dad. Interesting. “We’re almost there, my friend.” Dad sighed hoarsely, almost blubbering. As Robert nudged the firm helmet of his bludgeon up into the entryway, into that dark place where life really starts, Dad winced. My husband consoled him, ran his hands smoothly along my father’s ass, reached around to rub the thick felt on his pubis. “Good, Buddy. Ready? I want to be in you. Ok. We need this fuck. This’ll be good for us, man.” Robert was an animal trainer. Helping Dad and me find the beast, let it out to play, enjoy the sun. 

I really didn’t know where he got all of this. And I was a little sad that I had labeled him these past eight years of our marriage. “Now push against me like you’re trying to shit out my dick,” Robert coached him. I watched in amazement as my father opened like a soft flower and swallowed up the head of my husband’s cock. Needless to say, my own sex was throbbing and ringing like an unanswered antique telephone. At one point or another she was going to need a whole lot of attention from one of these boys. This was their time, though. Something big was happening. “That’s it. Do it again.” Robert eased in about half of his member. “Yesss. I’m almost all the way in you now.” My husband’s tight bush intertwined with the undergrowth surrounding my father’s shitter. One big sticky and dank mess of fur. “Good. Nice tight cunt.” Both of them were relaxing into the connection. This was just the beginning for all of us. Robert rocked his hips with strong and stable strokes in and out of Dad’s sturdy tail.

“Why don’t you offer our guest some of your pie? I think he’s gonna like what I left inside it.” Yes? No? My father looked so vulnerable. I didn’t want to take advantage of him, but I honestly longed for some rough contact on my swollen muff. Dad’s strong chin, full mouth and sandpaper beard stubble looked just right to me. Not wanting to overthink it, I walked right over to his lowered head, sat right under his face and offered up my funky snatch. You would’ve thought that the guy just got back from ten years of isolation in the desert. Keeping his ass hiked up for Robert, he went down on his forearms and buried his jaw in my snatch. He was digging for gold. Cleaning me up. I felt his charged tongue work its way through every fold. He was slurping on our cocktail of cum. A feeding frenzy. He was uncontrolled and heavy-handed, but my kitty really needed a firm hand right then. I was building up for a big blow. It didn’t help that Dad was crying out into my gash as Robert fucked him. The vibrations passed through me like waves of ecstasy.

Needless to say, I lost track on how my men were doing at Dad’s back door. Seemed like they were on a similar schedule, though. “Honey, your dad and I are about to come. You may want to put your mouth on his cock so he doesn’t have to shoot on the floor.” Cool that my husband was feeling bossy, but I had other ideas. I slipped my body under Dad’s and plugged my cunt right on his knob. Jesus, he felt good. Nice fat, greased boner. Dad screamed out. I hooked my legs around his and Robert’s and pulled in tight. No sooner had I lifted up my hotbox to suck up against his crotch, he was already spewing his thick tonic in me. Robert roared, “Fuck!” Glued together in this whacked out structure, we were all cumming. Family fireworks, I guess you could say. Difficult for me to remember what was actually happening. This is all still new and a little overwhelming.

The three of us collapsed. Dad was the first one to talk, “Holy fuck,” he whispered. “What in the hell was that?”

You know, I don’t know what it was. I do know that Dad, Robert and I changed into something better after being punked. How sweet and wonderful life has turned out to be.

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